Monday, September 22, 2008

Writer's Field

I was trying to think of the opposite of writer's block - the block being a large figure before you that no light seeps around. So I thought of a field, light drenching it, no obstacles in sight. I'm in a middle of a field.

I think it's because I've been spending far more time alone than I'm used to. It's... trying to think of a positive adjective... "enlightening", I suppose. I remember Shan and her well used Myers-Brigg book from the Canon Street days. I am apparently an extrovert, and get my energy from being around other people. I kind of thought of myself as more middle ground - border line extrovert, border line introvert. Now I'm pretty sure that I flirt far more with the extrovert label than the introvert.

I think if I wrote as much as I wanted to in the course of a day, this blog would be essays long. But I don't, because it's not always accessible. I rarely write at work - except wonderful, ground-breaking, industry-changing reports - and I cannot hop off my Bicyclette at any given moment to dive for a laptop, thought sometimes I do take pen and paper with me.

I saw the sunset again tonight. Actually, I'm almost always outside for the sunset. It sets so early now that I'm usually still out biking and on my way home at that point. Tonight's sunset was different. If someone asked me to describe it, I could do so in two ways: a visual description, and an emotion-evoking description. One, the sunset was pretty, and much more yellow than usual. Beautiful gradient from a soft blue to a vibrant yellow. It actually looked more like a sunrise, the sky was stripped of the frequent pink, purple, and deep blue shades. Emotionally, it felt like a very optimistic sunset. It was weird, usually sunsets don't really draw much emotion from me other than a logical statement of, "Look, the sun is setting," to no one as I'm generally peddling on my own. I try to avoid talking to myself. Apparently society frowns upon it after your eighth year or so. Really though, I think speaking to oneself can provide clarity, much like walking away from a paper for a couple of days. Maybe it has to do with the different ways people learn or retain knowledge. For a audio learner, maybe speaking out loud to him/herself is more efficient. I don't judge. I still haven't figured out if I'm a visual, audio, or hands-on learner. I tend to link things very logically, but I don't think that is due to preferred learning method. However, I definitely think I have a visual memory (though I believe I'm getting rusty - will need to play more games of memory with a deck of cards). Sometime when trying to remember something it's almost like flipping through a series of files, and I know exactly which one to stop at and can pull a mental picture of it. It's interesting. I'm good at flipping through books and easily finding the page I'm looking for, was especially good at that with textbooks during uni.

I was looking at some pictures I took this weekend last night thinking about the role pictures play in my life. I love pictures. I have very, very, very few printed off, but my laptop is filled with digital photos. I then thought about the role a camera plays when you are by yourself. Sometimes I think it's a bad replacement for a person. Like this weekend, I would had rather been biking with someone, it makes for good encouragement and good company, but I was on my own so once in awhile I stopped to take pictures because I had no one to stop and talk to. By taking a picture of myself do I give myself someone to be with? "Lookie! You're with her! Gosh, she looks just like you..."

In a related note, if anyone ever wants to go on a bike ride... :) Apparently there is an PEI biking/cycling group that goes on rides every Monday night. Something to look into, if it's not too late! I also need to start, UGH, wearing warmer clothes. Sigh. Oh, just checked out calendar for said group and next Monday is the last ride. My timing is impeccable.

I kind of have the urge to get something pierced. Not sure what though. Realistically, probably nothing. I don't like bellybutton piercings... I just find them weird. Eyebrow reminds me of junior high, and that would be putting me back more than a decade. Maybe something in my ear(s). I feel this is similar to last summer when I couldn't stop sooking after getting home from vacay so promptly cut of 90 percent of my hair. Bizarrely, my mood lifted fantastically well. But I don't feel like chopping my hair this time - I'm having curiously good hair days as of late (by Jen standards) and don't want to tempt the Gods to end those days.

Imagine if people actually lived out their daydreams? Those sighs, some days, and if onlys. My life would be a circus. There would be animals everywhere, and I would be in a million different places, fluent in tens of languages. Some of my daydreams are unrealistic (baby elephant), but others much more obtainable. I just feel very ADD that I have very few long-term daydreams, they scatter so quickly based on my mood of the day and, so frequently, based on what book I'm reading or what other people are doing.

What if everyone lived out their daydreams? Would the economy crash into the fiery depths of the Underworld, or would equilibrium still be found? (Arguably never truly found due to the lack of an actual free market economy.) If my dream is to move to Hawaii and take hula dancing lessons for three months, does someone else have the dream to teach me that? Or would we exchange, and I would somehow help my teacher achieve his/her dream? Wouldn't that be nice - people putting forth so much effort to help others achieve happiness.

How would population demographics shift? Would people start living longer because they are happier? Or would the average life expectancy drop as people realise their life-long dreams of extreme, dangerous activities? What regions would emerge as centres, and which would turn into ghost towns?

And would people actually be brave enough to do it?

Change causes fear in some people. Would people happy with the present status-quo become disturbed when their hometown is overcome with dream-chasing immigrants? (Immigrant used in the sense of an outsider, not necessarily a foreign individual from another country.) Would the people who live in temples in the hilltops of Japan be happy that so many people are coming there to find inner peace? Or does the presence of the new individuals disrupt the inner-peace of the current, can't think of the word, temple person? Would the person that can help others find that inner equilibrium even still be there? Or will he/she be with me somewhere giggling in the ocean, trying to stand up on a surfboard?

So many questions. But it would be interesting to be approached by someone saying, "I just achieved one of my dreams, now I will help you achieve yours so long you pass the favour onto someone else." So this person achieved his/her dream, and now must help me find my way to working on a vineyard in France. He/she doesn't have to actually escort me there, but perhaps give me encouragement, help make arrangements - put the wheels in motion. I get to France, do my vineyard stint, and move forth to help a friend of a friend of a friend perhaps, say, be reunited with a childhood penpal from decades ago. Imagine having someone whose purpose was to help you achieve one specific dream... What would you ask for? If would have to be achievable. "I want you to mend my broken leg with the single tap of a wand!" isn't valid.

I have such word driblage lately, like my mouth won't stop spurting things out that my brain randomly touches on. Uh, see above for reference.

I was reading CBC news today and a discussion had been opened on the possibility of Canada having talks to try and arrange trade agreements with the EU.

Well, WHY NOT? There is no reason we shouldn't partake in talks. They may not lead to anything, but I believe variety, and versatility, make for a stronger, more reliable economy in the long run. In simple, simple, SIMPLE terms, imagine eating only one kind of food. That food suddenly gets wiped out by say, a storm, or perhaps is recalled due to health reasons. Now that food is unavailable, and one is left searching for a new kind of food to be enjoyed. Compare that to the person who eats a variety of food (let's leave food qualities out of this and assume neither is missing nutrients/minerals due to food choice) has also lost access to that particular kind of food. Unfortunate, but he/she has many alternatives to fall back on. The other person does as well, but may have to go through more work to find such food. Where does one purchase it? How does one know if it is ripe or has gone sour? How is it best prepared? Learning curves take time. Our trade is so dependent on the US, and it wouldn't surprise me if there are secret trade agreements that force us to remain so interdependent, but all other things equal, expanding trade partners is good. Some people that commented in the discussion mentioned us aligning with the Euro and *joining* the EU, but I think that was mere speculative thinking, or perhaps miscomprehension of the topic. It's no secret that I would happily move back to Europe for a short stint (founder of the Tourism Research Centre - Salamanca Branch), but the idea of Canada joining the EU in the near future makes me scratch my head in confusion. I haven't been following the currency markets at all, but I believe the Canadian dollar is doing decent?

Holy Jen MacRamble. In an effort to be in bed (though I type from my bed) by 1:00am, it's 12:58 and I need be trying to shut down the brain for bed, otherwise I'll soon have a dissertation written. Yay, Jen Mac, PhD.

Oops, now 1:01am by the time I finished spellcheck. Ahh well. Long live the job of no official start time...


Kathleen said...

Hey Jen! Here is some help and encouragement to get to that vineyard in France - have you ever considered wwoofing it? Check out this website - it might inspire you.

Kathleen said...

In fact, (as an added incentive) I would be interested in doing it too - say next summer for a couple of weeks, depending on reality (e.g. jobs, money, etc) of course! I would love the opportunity to improve my French.