Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Undisappointing Bed Story

Remember that time I felt all mature because I bought an expensive pillow that sucked? (Read: The Disappointing Pillow Story.)

What a life lesson. That pillow is currently still in two parts. One part is in the living room, useful for when sitting on the floor playing with Giant Kitty. The other part is... I don't know where it is. Perhaps on our spare bed?

Oh, what's that? SPARE BED?!

What a wonderful segway into today's non-fictional story.

Le Boyfriend and I bought a bed. I don't have a lot of experience purchasing furniture. Like many adult responsibilities (children, automobiles, mortgages, having an herb garden), I put off acquiring furniture longer than the average person. At one point in 2007 a friend and I had a very important discussion relating to the fact that buying a DVD player was far too much commitment for wanderers such as ourselves.

BUT WAIT! Side DVD player story: When Shannon, Keri, and I lived in Edinburgh in 2004, we acted like it was 1994. Initially none of us had brought any sort of computing device, we obviously didn't have internet, no additional cable, and, for awhile, no means of watching movies. A few months in, Keri eventually bought a DVD player. So joyous! Now we could - gasp - listen to music, look at pictures that had been burnt onto CDs, and watch movies! We owned two movies. What's that? You suddenly have the urge to watch Muppets from Space or The Wedding Singer? Sorry, we left them in Edinburgh as they wouldn't play on North American DVD players. Our DVD player's proudest moment was probably when, for a friend's good-bye (or maybe birthday, I can't remember) party, we all thought it would be funny to rent *porn* from the DVD rental vending machine thingie down the street. We wanted something super cheesy and as stereotypically awful as possible. We found one that was set in a haunted house. In case you're thinking, "Wait - porn from a rental machine that doesn't require ID, isn't that risky?", there is no need to worry: there was (sigh) no full frontal nudity.

End side story.

Back to bed story.

While current hand-me-down bed was comfortable, le Boyfriend and I found it a smidgen small. It was an odd size that you don't see commonly for sale anymore, slightly smaller than a double, I believe. A-okay for one person, perhaps a bit tight by times for two people, but overly snug for two people and one growing cat who sneaks in during the night and wants to sleep ascloseaspossible. It might seem a bit extreme to buy a new bed just because "Michu takes up more than his share!"; however, it was actually on the too-be-purchased list that had been developed when le Boyfriend and I moved in together. Thirteen-pound kitty (at last weighing) was just the tipping point.

Our first bed shopping stop was Sears. Advice for people who shall be bed shopping in the near future: don't wear a skirt or dress. You expend too much mental energy trying to not flash people while laying in a department store bed. Sears salesperson was nice, not overbearing, and what you appreciate in a sales person. Gives you space, checks in occasionally to see if you have questions, and, best, let's you know when the bed you pick will be on sale over the next month!

In an effort to be responsible, le Boyfriend and I also went to The Brick to test some beds and eye some prices.

So awkward.

The salesperson there followed us around the whole time like we were going to steal something. Yes, I'm just going to shove this giant bed into my jacket pocket, yes, you are correct to be concerned as I'm sure there are statistics somewhere supporting the increase of BED THEFTS from Bricks nation wide. Salesperson rattled off information and watched us as we lay in each bed, waiting for us to buy. Not watched us from a distance, but stood next to us. More happened, and it was such a bizarre experience. You know how you tell store staff when they ask if you need help that you're just looking around? And you expect them to leave you alone? Not so much. Needless to say, we returned to Sears and bought our bed there. Best price, lovely bed, and, HOLD ONTO YOUR WOOLY WINTER SOCKS, free delivery. (Other shop was about $100 to take the bed down the street. I expect the delivery person would then probably stay at your residence for an hour and watch you lay in the bed.)

Verdict? New bed = awesome. But, in an effort not to be overly responsible, the bed is still on the floor without a bed frame. Sometimes we just don't like to spend too much money at once.

(Hilarious side of no bed frame? Playing with Michu, and chasing him into the bedroom, with him being accustomed to running under the bed. He ran into the bedroom, I followed, and he ran smack into the boxspring on the floor, suddenly realizing he could no longer get under the bed. He looked started, and ran off to another room.)