Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Time machine

Today something was said to me at work that made me flashback to last summer and realise how much life repeats itself.

Last night I saw reading some stuff I wrote during a sad phase of last year (not too long after I blew my top/lost yee olde temper and broke up w/ le Boyfriend) and realised how much 2009 is shaping up to look like another 2008. And how much of an absolute wreck I was at this time last year. Whoops.


I don't want to do 2008 again, it was kind of icky.

Although it's not 2008 again, otherwise I would not have went to Hawai'i/San Diego/BC... I would had went to AB and FL.

My leg hurts. I cut it with my new bike pedals. I don't understand how I do such things, but I do. I also bumped my arm against my handlebars today and bumped my handlebars against my thigh shortly after.

Why do I keep hurting myself? I half expected the arm to bruise.

A close friend has been gone on a kayaking adventure for five days and I feel like a mom for starting to become concerned about his lack of communication and potential drowning at sea. I just looked at the Guardian's online website and no one has reported a kayak mysteriously floating about without an owner. Plus one point Thomas survival. Who moves away on Monday. Oh, Dear.

It's now 12:34. That's one of my favourite times.

I don't want to work this summer. Today was 23C. I'm ready to retire, folks! Hurrah! It's been a good two years in the industry. I'm ready to collect my CPP.

Good night.

PS~I've been getting to work early as of late. Woohoo!

Sunday, April 26, 2009


Yesterday was such a nice day, weather wise. I feel like the reward of suffering through the winter is starting to show. PEI has recorded below seasonal temperatures for what feels like forever. Yesterday was well above seasonal and I feel like PEI finally got a break.

In exciting news I get new bike pedals tomorrow. Hurrah! They are curiously cracked in a variety of places. Do I have heavy feet?

I had a pimple under my eyebrow a couple of days ago. An ideal place as no one can see it; and I can't see it thus don't constantly scratch at it.

When biking around yesterday I noticed Hunter's patios were packed. It's a sign of summer. Also, a tanning session was held on the parents' patio. My co-tanner received the Season's First Burn; I seem to have faired okay.

Bye. Zzzz.

Monday, April 20, 2009

love for 'being a girl'

I haven't written on me blog in ages, and now my brain is simply overflowing with thoughts SO relevant to your life! In the past month I have reached Goddess level and am filled with information to get you thinking about life, your potential for greatness, and cute bunny rabbits.

Not really.

And rabbit is a weird word. Actually, many words are bizarre, and I now have great desire to learn the origins of the word 'rabbit'. A quick search of the Vast Vorld of the Veb has given me no clues.

Last night when I was unsuccessfully falling asleep I was thinking about girls being girls, and boys being boys. Mostly after hearing two close [girl] friends say to me in the same night in separate conversations, "I'm being such a girl," in a negative way. I also found myself saying that this weekend, "Sorry for being such a girl."

Why do we have to apologize for being girls?

Being "such a girl" usually is a result of poor communication or lack of respect from another, or just reacting to something that merits a reaction. My being-a-girl apology was given after a few tears randomly started flowing down my cheeks one evening after I had been thinking about some thing over a few days that was making me sad. When asked what was wrong, I didn't really utter a single word. So I was thinking deeply about something for awhile, reacted to it, then didn't bother explaining why I sniffling and whimpering. I was being a girl, I guess. But why say, "Sorry I was being such a girl," (and I meant that in regards to the runny nose and single dramatic tears,) and not, "Sorry, I should have told you why."

Such a girl ;) I think "being such a girl" usually means showing an extreme emotion as a reaction to something.

I have never had a male say to me, "Sorry for being such a boy."

So, devoted readers (Hi, Mom!), what would "being such a boy" involve?

I was also talking to a guy about how my emotions run a wee bit wild, say, two days a month and being frustrated by it. He rightfully pointed out that sometimes guys let their emotions get a little wild. However, my point was that females get it on a cyclical basis and it's not really based on anything except estrogen production. I assume guys letting their emotions ride a rollercoaster is a result of an actual event and not a result of, well, the monthly hurrah of not being pregnant. Heh.

God, or whoever created people, perhaps has a warped sense of humour. "The men and women must breed to ensure the Earth remains populated, but I will make them different so that they are constantly confused and baffled by one another. I will make the females deep, emotional thinkers for whom communication is important. I will make the males strong so they can lift heavy things to impress the females. The females will be impressed and will, in turn, purchase new shoes to attract the male. The male will be attracted to her, but not because of her shoes. In fact, he will not notice her shoes; he will notice her 'feeding instruments', not designed for him, but for eventual off-spring."

Whatever, at least male humans aren't like male bears - I have never seen a mother human take her child away from the father because he was going to eat the cub/baby. Us humans are very dignified like that: we don't eat our children!! HURRAH!

Completely unrelated, but I don't know what to dooooooo. My contract at work is almost up... I haven't said I would renew (mostly I just smile awkwardly when the subject arrises), but have not said I wouldn't renew (see previous line about smiling awkwardly). I'm enjoying PEI a bit more lately (55% credit goes to the verrrrrry slowly improving weather) but I don't expect that to last forever. I have another good friend leaving soon and, well, bleh.

My big issue is that I don't know what to do next. If I leave my job, I will be moving to a different province, no questions asked. I not entirely sure if I'm up for Vancouver or Victoria. My stops there on vacay were purposely to test their living potential. The temperature was much higher than in PEI... but the sky was grey very frequently, as I was told it would be. I would actually rather temperatures a bit lower but a bright blue sky. Even if it isn't warm, it still at looks nice when looking out the window.

Why must the two ends be so extreme? Minus 400 degrees in the rest of Canada with sunny days, or, damp dark days above freezing in [parts of] BC?

Where is the happy medium? ( Hawai'i :) )

I like the outdoor fun of BC, but was left rather unimpressed by the beaches. They were pointed out to me in the grey Vancouver sky and... well... weird. I suppose I'm not used to having lots of trees by beaches? Or minimal sand? But I could spend much time exploring and riding zee bike.

On the other other other OTHER hand, I realise living in Van would likely require me to give up something I love: a yard. Yards are oh so wonderful! A small balcony would never, EVER compare to being able to walk outside in your bathing suit and throwing a blanket on the grass and reading a book. And having the neighbourhood cat come by to visit.

I do not know what to do. The option to go to Ottawa is there... but I don't know if I want to live there again.

I also don't want to go through the job hunt process again, I just want someone to *give* me a wonderful, meant-for-me job. Please? Whimper. Apparently it's also not the best time in the economic cycle to be looking for a job, because the recession is scary, supposedly.

I just really want to play all day and have fun. Be on vacation.

I took my first crack at my taxes last night and am almost done. A huge disadvantage of not paying taxes all year is realising you owe the government thousands of dollars by the end of April. I am not exagerating at all when I say THOUSANDS. I'm hoping it'll be less than $10K by the time my GST is included. Yikes.

I suppose working now would be a good idea. Crap I want a nap. I always stay up really late when sleeping at my parents' home (they are on holiday) because I have to fall asleep the instant my head hits the pillow or I will lay in bed trying to convince myself that every crick is *not* someone breaking into my house.

I want a house. I feel like I had so much room to play at my parents' house. They had more than one shelf they could put food on. The stuff in ALL of their cupboards was THEIR stuff. They have a patio to sit on, more than one room to put all their stuff, it was clean (and I managed to keep it relatively neat while they were gone), I didn't trip over messes left by other people, etc. Sigh. The only thing that really excites me about going back to 223 is a warm bedroom in the morning and my skylight. Other than that.... :P