Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thirsty Sleepy One

This morning as staring confusingly into my closet trying to decide what to wear, my eyes took a downward shift. At the bottom of my closet there is a grand collection of unconsumed beer and coolers. All of a sudden it seemed like the best idea in the world to have a Schmirnoff Ice (Wild Grape, mmm,) before work. I really, really wanted it. It would taste just like a grape freezee. I knew it would taste oh-so delicious, and perk my taste buds for the day, but I refrained because, umm, consuming alcohol before 8:30am seems kind of pathetic and something to be judge negatively for. At the same time, one probably wouldn't be terrible, really, it probably has no more sugar than a glass of apple juice and the alcohol content is probably lower than cough syrup which people consume in mad quantities when fighting off a cold.

Actually, it was probably a bad idea not to have that drink this morning.

almost like the scientology test

Global Personality Test Results
Stability (76%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..
Orderliness (13%) very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by

This makes me laugh. It kind of reminded me of when Shan and I took personality tests at the Church of Scientology because they were free. Basically they really stressed your negative traits and would try to sell you a book. I recall being, in a nutshell, kind of bitchy and self-centred, but extremely happy! However, I don't think this website was trying to sell me a book. It says word that describe me are, "messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic". I don't know if I'm "tough" (I wouldn't start a fight in the street... except for the McDonalds and chippy incident long ago), but I giggled at "sarcastic" and "weird". Hannah thinks I'm weird. Maybe she was onto something?

Not sure about the perfectionist thing... I am a bit of a control freak, but I guess that's not a perfectionist. I can't delegate well because I'm concerned the person won't complete the task to my standards. Insert issues with excessive group work in the School of Business.

I should go to bed. I stayed up until 2:00 with a racing mind last night and didn't bother trying to shut it down as today was supposed to be a storm day. Alas, when I looked out the window at 2:00, I knew the snow day was not meant to be. But as per usual I made it through the day on 5 1/2 hours of sleep. Once again I rode my emotional rollercoaster for the day, and now I'll hop off and go to sleep and have quirky dreams.

I was thinking today that I have some extra time on my hands and should organize myself a wee bit. Maybe start going to bed a little earlier so I can somehow make it to work before the rest of the world takes their first coffee break. I started cleaning my room on Sunday night, got distracted, and nothing really happened. I also think I'm tired of candy. Actually, I'm tired of food in general. I'm suddenly sick of all my favourite foods (except strawberries which I will eat until the Earth crashes into the sun) and can't be bothered to buy groceries because I feel like I've eaten it all before. Not true, but I may need some inspiration. I have salmon defrosting, maybe I'll get a little crazy with that tomorrow. I remember learning to "cook" in Jr. High. We made cookies, muffins, potato something or other, and .... ? Why didn't we learn to cook something useful? Cooking class didn't even help me get over my fear of hot things. I could barely take stuff out of the oven until I worked in the Food and Wine Festival and was serving hundreds of ridiculously hot soups everyday. Working in a restaurant forces one to rather quickly get over her fear of hot things. Maybe not completely, but let's not be irrational - baby steps all the way.

Poor brain doesn't know how to shut down. She'll keep whirling for a while, it's been a whirly few days for her. She's excited about the World and its unlimited opportunities, but she's disorganized and can't plan ahead any further than a week.

This weekend I'm going cross-country skiing with Shan and am rather excited. See, I can have fun in the winter!!! I suspect people think I hate winter far more than I actually do... It's okay, it's not my favourite, but I'm not afflicted with SAD by any means. Last winter was definitely not the standard - it was too much culture shock too quickly combined with loss of too many friends/job/apartment/home, etc. I haven't lost anything yet this winter! Well, a boyfriend (sad) and THREE FREAKING EARRINGS. How do I keep losing them? Of course, all three belong to different pairs. One I don't care about, actually, I broke it playing with the claspe because apparently I don't know how to sit still, but the other two are lost. One in Victoria Park somewhere, and the other... just somewhere. No idea. The second one MUST be replaced when I head down to Florida in March. I used to wear them everyday, so my ears will go through some sort of withdrawal if they are not replaced.

I also lost a button off my new, wonderful coat, but found that about two seconds after the event occured. Hmm, what else have I misplaced... Oh yes, one of my winter hats, and something else that I remember looking for and not being able to find... But I recall thinking, "Sigh, it's been forever since I've seen _______." Oh yes, hair clips. Nothing major.

And now it's about 1:00am. This is why here needs to be more hours in the day, or people should sleep only four hours a night. I took a wee nap after work, (okay, after work, after the gym, and after shovelling snow,) for almost an hour at 8:30. I kind of wish I hadn't woke up and just slept through til, like, 5:30. That would be pretty amazing. Maybe I'll try that tomorrow night.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

she's not a smart one

So I'm trying to distract myself this evening. My first night on PEI since Mr. (Now ex on good terms) Boyfriend departed the Isle. I'm moping. But people are allowed to mope; it shows that at one point they were very happy. I think to feel one extreme emotion, one must have felt the opposite emotion on a very extreme level as well.

I'm a moron and f-ed up my taxes for 2007 already. There is something to be said about not planning ahead and the punishments that come with being a disorganized, scattered-brained lady. Anyway, won't go into detail, we don't need the gov't googling me =P

I don't think I ever finished recapping my NYC adventure. On New Year's Day, Keri and I went to play in Central Park. Loved it! I actually think it was one of the highlights of the trip, just being able to be outside in the grass, trees all around, not overly crowded, and, YES!, going to the zoo!! The Central Park Zoo. I feel like I have somehow filled a secret, unknown-until-now, childhood dream. I know I shouldn't love zoos, captive animals and all, but I do! At least "nice" ones. I don't think I would enjoy seeing a donkey in a cage that was far too small. We saw sea lions, penguins, lots of unique birds (in the "rainforest"), polar bears (maaaaaassive), goats, monkeys, pacas, and more. I loved it all! Then we wandered a bit and giggled at Park Avenue, because neither of us, uh, really belonged there ;) I found the Flat Iron Building, which made me immensely happy. Something about it, I adore it. It was a challenge to get a decent photo of it though. I pretty much ran circles through the park across the street and the surroundings streets. The tall buildings were blocked the sun as it was already setting on the horizon. I don't think any of my photos really do it justice, but I think it's a wonderful building. Probably something about the unique shape and symmetry appeal to me. I love symmetry. So much that I can't even spell it properly - heh.

Eventually Keri and I split up, and I ended up wasting too much time waiting in line for the toilet at Toys R Us in Times Square. Really though, it wasn't a waste of time because I, well, really needed to use the toilet. It was actually a very worthwhile experience. And I stood in line behind a Spanish mother and her ridiculously cute children. I love eavesdropping on Spanish conversations. I think it's a beautiful language and I wish I could speak it with greater skill than I can. I'm proud of what I can do with my limited vocabulary (although it's rusty given I never use it now) but I want to be better.

All seven of us met up to eat before the long bus ride home. I had a salad at the pub we were at, and it was disgusting. So instead I ate on the bus, random bits of food that I had packed.

The bus ride home was very long - about 22 hours. We didn't really drive directly into bad weather, but were kind of behind it so it made for some rather nasty road conditions. The Bridge was closed to high-sided vehicles when we arrived, so shuttles were to take us across. Sitting at the front of the bus, we got on the first shuttle! .... and the only shuttle to take some weird route through Gateway Village and get stuck. Heh. Anyway, while we were crossing, the Bridge opened back up to all traffic, so we hopped back on the bus to return to Ch'town. The bus ride was long, but I didn't really mind it too much. We watched movies, slept some, I did random number puzzles, wrote some, played on my phone, listened to music. It's kind of nice to have some time to oneself!

New York? C'est la fin.

Sheena, Shannon and I went to Halifax this weekend. It was lovely. Halifax still isn't my favourite city, but I had a good time there. Saturday morning involved sleeping in, something I've been lacking as of late.

I need something new. Now something new to buy, but a new challenge. It was hard saying good-bye to Tom for many reasons, one being that he is leaving on an adventure and I'm not. It's supposed to be me that leaves for fun adventures, damn it! I just don't know what to do. I went on some weird Africa kick for a couple of weeks, but I was looking through the internships offered by CIDA and I don't think I qualify because I already have "international experience". However, I do believe I can argue that my international experience is a completely different level of the positions they look to fill. Luckily there are other ways to get to Africa. My only incredibly selfish issue is that I want to get paid, or at least no blow a crapload of money getting there and while there.

I'm also itching for South America or Mexico, mostly due to the Spanish language thing referenced above.

Sometimes I wonder if I like adventures or think about them a lot in an effort to distract myself from some unknown... demon? Element? Can't think of an appropriate word to use. Growing up, perhaps? Adventures are good reasons not to buy houses or nice cars. Or purchase some sort of cell phone "package". Contract of doom, if you will. My wee Virgin Mobile pay-as-you-go and I have a wonderful relationship. Although it won't be used so much now as my texting partner in crime has fleed. Fled? Fleed? Fleeddededededed? Probably.

This year I am going to keep track of spending. I threw out a crapload of receipts tonight hoping to find gas receipts, and realized that I charge a lot. It's fine, I pay off my balance, but what the hell do I spend so much money on?! Based on the quantity of receipts, food and liquor. Seriously. Probably 95% of them were from Sobeys/Super Store, the liquor store, or some restaurant. In 2008 I start spending my money on better things, things that will last longer than the digestive cycle. Like my wonderful new, cheap fleece that I already love to bits and pieces and picture myself standing atop a mountain in - or at least a large hill. Hannah I went walking this moring/afternoon in Point Pleasant Park. It was such a nice (but non-typical winter) day out. I bet people thought I was all out-doorsy because I was wearing a lovely fleece and ankle pants rolled up. That are BROWN. Out-doorsy people wear brown, I bet. Because it matches the Earth so they don't stain as easily? I was also wearing sneakers. Clearly I must be some sort of professional hiker, trekker, mountain guide, or something. Or perhaps a sneaker salesperson.

Well, my "real" journal beckons me to take my stress-filled head and smatter it all over her pages in permanent ink. It's funny, I like writing in it, but I don't so much enjoy going back to read it. I like re-reading my old blog entries, perhaps because they record my happy times. Writing on paper records my emotional, probably more negative times. Or completely, immature, "OMG - a hot guy looked at me today! I have a crush on ___________! I like puppy dogs! Like, I can't believe that he totally looked down my shirt and blah blah blah blah blah." Very deep and meaningful. I hope someone finds it someday and comes to the conclusion that all twenty-some-year-old females are completely nuts, insecure, and clearly put on a fake front when pretending to have it all together when facing the public.

Adventure, much?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Tick Tick - NYC

I am killing time at work. I've been killing time for most of the day. If I continue this tomorrow, I'll be on trial for murder by the end of the week.

Christmas break was lovely - it was great to have family and friends home. It's always so rushed, but I love it. Life has such an unfortunate slow pace in the winter months that I want to be ran off my feet over the holidays so that I want at least a few days of peace in January. But only a few.

Six of my friends and I went to New York City for New Years Eve. The NYE thing didn't really matter to me, I just liked the idea of leaving PEI. To make a long story short, the adventure began 7:00pm on Friday, Dec 28th. I was excited, but a bit bummed as I had said good-bye to Tom (which I thought was going to be a perma-foever-and-ever-and-ever good-bye, but wasn't thanks to the PEI Weather Gods), Brother, friends, etc. Then I got forced to sit with a random stranger away from my friends on the bus. Wasn't so bad though, I made myself a little cocoon and spent some hrs immersed in music, writing, and reading. I never read as much as I plan to on long plane/bus trips. In fact, I don't have much focus on reading at all lately. Apparently I would rather stare at grids of numbers and do sudoku or similar puzzles.

About seventeen hours later, we checked into our hotel in New Jersey and had a slight "room issue" on which I will not elaborate here. Sheena, Julie and I trucked to the mall (along with hundreds of other people, apparently) for part of the afternoon and evening, and then pretty much collapsed on our beds in dramatic shopping exhaution. After a treck to the liquor and grocery store of course. I love groceries stores outside of Canada. I know the US isn't that different, but walking around in a non-familiar grocery store with different food enthralls me. As with liquor stores. Plus liquor is much cheaper in the States. For the liquor Sheena and I brought home, we figured it would have cost us $36 CAD for what cost us $15 US. Hardly seems fair.

Sunday we left the hotel at 9:00 for a "four-hour long" bus tour (actually only 3.5 hrs) which was a waste of time. I won't get into it, but I was rather disappointed and chose to skip the night tour. After the tour, a few of us grabbed some food from the greasiest diner ever, and wandered around for the next few hours. I parted ways with the others at about 5:00 (after a note-worthy struggle through Rockefeller Center which was far over-filled with people) and walked around. I felt like a regular New Yorker by the end, cursing at the strollers, sighing at pedestrians that stopped to gawk in the middle of heavy foot or car traffic, etc. It had also been lightly raining since about 4:30, so by the time 9:30 rolled around I was a wee bit wet. However, actually didn't really notice too much - until I sat on the bus at 10:00 and promptly started to freeze from the not-warm air coming out of the air vents. Upon arrival in our room, I pretty much stripped, rushed into my pajamas, blasted the heat, and cuddled into 410 blankets. La fin de dimanche soir.

Monday was the 31st. We took public transit into the city because our free shuttled was mysteriously cancelled. First we went up to the Museum of Natural History to check out the crowd levels. Packed. We snapped some photos of the area, and took a wander through the area just west of the museum. Afterwards we headed to China Town so Sheena could indulge in the "real" knock-off purses. Quite an experience! We dined in Little Italy (which given how the area is changing may need to change its name to "Very Little Italy"). Afterwards I squealed in excitement and bought watches. Yay! Sheena, Julie and I had decided that it would be nice to take a rest before heading into the crowds for NYE and headed back to the hotel. However, before catching the bus (which we unknowingly timed ridiculously perfectly) we decided to take a peak of the crowds at Times Square. Couldn't really get close to the area, but I didn't really care too much. The people you see on TV have to put in pretty much a whole day of waiting to watch the ball drop. I had better things to do with my time [buy watches].

We rested at the hotel for a bit [after a liquor stop] and, not gonna lie, I was a bit mopey for the same reasons as the bus ride down. However, turned out PEI was getting blated by Madame Nature, and Mr. Boyfriend had not departed the province. My mood may have perked up ;)

We ventured back into the city arriving at about 9:30. Our bus dropped off at... I get mixed up, either Penn Station or Port Authority. The one on the corner of 42nd and 8th. We decided to walk around the area around Times Square to soak in some of the atmosphere. Apparently we weren't the only ones with that idea. There were loads of people, but traffic flow was decent since many roads were blocked off and there were always a couple of cops attempted to direct the crowds and vehicles. After a half-struggle with the crowds, we had our fill and joined the rest of our group at a bar/restaurant close to our bus pick-up point. Great location, great seats, and great fun! So much better than standing with 1.1 million of my closest and new best friends in Times Square!

The following day shall wait because I get to leave work now. Woohoo!