Monday, June 14, 2010

Good morning, World!!

Dear PEI motorists:

Sorry I flashed you the other day, but I was in a pickle. I know you expected your drive to work to be free of nudity and all things evil, but I have yet to put curtains over my window, despite my window looking over one of the busiest roads in our wee city. But that's okay, I'll assume you're modest and looked away.

You see, I was about to be attacked. I was laying in bed enjoying the last moments of rest before the workday when I noticed a large wasp buzzing close to my window. I felt confident in my safety knowing the screen would keep Wee Waspy out. However, the smile on my face faded when I realised the screen had unattached from the window frame close to wear the wasp was hovering. I didn't have much time to react, but I had to do so quickly as the wasp appeared to be slowly discovering the entry into this new world.

If you know me well you will recall that I'm terrified of bees, wasps, and general stinging things. We shall put the blame on the writers of My Girl. Though, to be fair, the movie was released when I was 8, so obviously something else triggered this deep fear pre-1991. Regardless, if Macaulay Culkin/"Thomas" can't survive a few bee stings, what chance do I have?

I hopped from my bed and quickly made great efforts to fix the screen to keep out the murderer. Standing on my bed, in front of my large window. It occurred to me that perhaps I was giving the sleepy motorists a bit of a show, but my safety was worth it. And I was lucky not to reveal all. Those with foot fetishes would had been disappointed. I was well blocked from the knees down.

In a way, not having my curtains up (they are still in their plastic wrapping from when I bought them ages ago) saved my life. Had the curtains been shielding me from the sun I wouldn't had noticed the Wee Wasp trying to plow into my room. He would have come in, buzzed around a bunch, and then killed me.

In closing, I hope I have not offended you.

Many thanks,
Jen Mac

Conversation from earlier that week about jellyfish stings -
Roommate One from Ontario: I mean, you must have been stung by a jellyfish, right? Does it hurt? Like a bee sting?
Jen: I dunno. I've never been stung by anything.
Roommate One: What? That's impossible? Roommate Two, you've been stung by a bee, right? How have you never been stung by a bee?
Roommate Two: No, actually.
Jen: I'm observant and good at running away from stinging things.


Kalena said...

Ohhhh... I can choose two (2) reactions!!!
I'm found it delightfully funny!!!
And you changed your blog background...that made me extra delighted, because it was a surprise!!!

Jen said...

Ooh, I didn`t notice the "reaction" thing when I changed the layout! I may have to change the words to things like, "Totally Rad" and "Infused with the Spirit of Aloha".

Kalena said...

I totally agree that you should add "Infused with the Spirit of Aloha", but please please please leave delightful!!!