Thursday, January 28, 2010

It's just a little tickle! - - uh oh

Today I and co-workers trudged through the spring (printemps!) weather to go downtown for a meeting. A few things usually cross my mind at some point before or during the meeting:

1. I shouldn't drink too much water (l'eau!) in the two hours preceding the meeting (meeting! - said in a funny accent).
2. I should not eat things with creamy, delicious sauces the day of the meeting.
3. Oh yeah, bring a pen (stylo!).
4. If food or drink is served at the meeting, consume these things SLOWLY (lentement!).
5. I hope I don't start coughing.

The evil dry cough that occasionally develops at the end of or beginning of a cold (rhume - I am teaching you French today). I dislike the general discomfort of it, but I hate the awkwardness of it. I recall in grade 5 having one of those dry coughs. It would be fine, and suddenly a burning tickle would develop in the back of your throat (like a UTI in your mouth!! Ew, jen mac.) and a small throat clearing would be attempted. It cause the tickle to length, to plummet deeper into the throat. A pang of stress flashes through the eyes. Attempts to wet the throat occur. Excessive swallowing of non-existent saliva. And, if you are too be so lucky (avoir de chance!) to have a liquid close by, drinking a fluid.

In grade 5 I recall classmates were giving a presentation at the front of the class, and I was trying to very hard not to cough. Holding my breath. Staring at the upper right corner of the room. Trying to think about other things.

You see, in grade 5 one is not allowed to simply stand up and get a drink of water without asking the teacher. And one does not interrupt another student's presentation with such a juvenile request (demande).

One must SUFFER (oh la la!).

And suffer this wee lass did. To the point she remembers it and memories still flood her brain in effort to develop pro-active strategies.

Today in my meeting I started to develop a small tickle in the throat. Luckily, in this case, I successfully formed saliva in my mouth and swallowed it enough to take the tickle down to a pale pink, then non existent. (Yes, tickle intensity is measured on a scale of not-there, to white, to shades of pink, up to intense red. When the red starts glowing, the cough starts flowing.)

Maintenant, on danse.

And now, we dance.

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