Science Experiment: bar de power

Today I am doing a research project not related to tourism.

On my adventure at the Superstore last night, I noticed many Powerbars on the discount rack. (I was originally looking at the hair dye, as my hair continues to be a case for the fried-rainbow convention.)

Apparently these Powerbars are generally about $3.00 but these were marked down to $1.15. I became curious. What would happen to me were I to eat such a powerful bar? Would I work faster? Become more restless? Be able to move furniture with the tip of my pinky?

Today I am going to find out. After work I shall eat what remains of my powerbar. I slightly cheated and nibbled a bit off last night (wanted to know what it tasted like to avoid disappointment the following day), and have had a few munches today out of Office Boredom (tm). Over half remains of this "Vanilla Crisp" flavoured Powerbar. After work, I shall don my biking clothes, mange my Powerbar, and proceed to bike to the moon.

Maybe.

Two questionable conditions have developed this afternoon.

1) As stated, almost half of the powerbar is already gone. This reduces potential derived power by almost half. Power gained is directly related to the amount of power eaten.

2) I'm really full. I made chili last night and had some of my 800 litres of leftovers for lunch and am already proteined out. I feel I may need to use the washroom soon, so I am hoping that will create more room for the Powerbar.

3) I am uncertain as to when the Powerbar should be consumed. Should I eat it about a half hour prior to my bike ride? Perhaps I should consume it right before my ride, swallowing the last bits as I mount Sexay Bicyclette (my bike's name today, sometimes it changes). Should I even eat it after my ride as an attempt to re-fuel?

WHY DOES THE POWERBAR NOT COME WITH DIRECTIONS?!?!

It also should be noted that the Powerbar is apparently step one of three. I am unsure as to what the other two steps are. Step 2: Physical activity? Step 3: Throwing up Powerbar after too much physical activity? Such mysteries.

4) It is cold out, about 5C apparently. This means my bike ride may not be that long, because I hate the cold with a very special passion. This morning my TEETH hurt when biking to work. Biking into the wind proved difficult thus my mouth was open in an effort to increase my air intake. The result was a chilling breeze skimming the top of my bottom teeth, which still feel weird right now. My face and ears were also cold, but my torso did its usual, "Holy crap your wind breaker works well and is an amazing insulator, I must sweat profusely now!"

I think it would be useful to perform a similar experiment on the same day next week. However, this time I will not eat a Powerbar. I will still eat the excessive (sigh) amount of chili. This will aid me in determining if it is the Powerbar giving me the strength of a bear, or simply the Jen Mac chili (extra lean ground beef, corn, zuchini, green pepper, red pepper, onion, kidney beans, tomatoes, chili seasoning, ketchup, and wee bit o' cheese occasionally).

What an educational evening this will prove to be. Now if you will excuse me, I have a Powerbar to slowly eat. It must be eaten slowly because it almost has the delicious texture of taffee, so it is impossible to eat quickly.