Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Important lists

I haven't written in a wee while because I've been off playing on holiday. On a scale of 1-10 of wonderfulness, after careful consideration and using a coefficient multiplier of the cosecent of pi (3.14159), I have determined this vacation deserves an 11.298. I don't know about you, but I find that to be a pleasing rating.

Now, just because I did not blog while traversing our great neighbour to the south, does not mean I was not thinking about blogging. I think writers tend to always write in their heads. I didn't bring my laptop with me and often found myself narrating my mini adventures in my head in blog style. It's difficult to determine if this is an admirable devotion to my blog and its six readers, or if it is a sad reflection of someone craving attention.

Right now I do not feel like writing a post with proper punctuation and picky grammar rules. I would like to make lists. Although they may be formatted a bit bizarrely as I find blogger defaults lists to be more much spacey than I desire.

Best animals at a zoo

- Sea lions
- Penguins
- Goats
- Elephants
- Any hyper animal under 6mos of age.

Worst animals at a zoo
- The ones that are sleeping waaaaaay in the back of their special animal area. Typically this will be a bear, filling all the bear stereotypes of lazy hibernation. QUESTION: Do zoo bears hibernate in the winter? Probably not. Sorry, bear.

Things that live up to their hype
- Danny Bhoy
- Niagara Falls, Canada portion.
- Golden Gate Bridge
- Earl of Sandwich
- Bahama Breeze
- These two kinds of Milka bars: Caramel and à la mousse praliné. Miam!
- Road-side fruit stands - particularly strawberries
- Goat cheese
- Me. Yes, I live up to the hype.
- *knock on wood* Toy Story 3

Things that aren't as impressive as they are supposed to be
- Chili's margarita chicken, pictured to the right. The only thing you can do is laugh. And build a time machine for a lunch re-do.
- Hershey milk chocolate. Best left for smores.
- Chocolate covered fruit. Don't mess with my strawberries, yo.

Best way to travel to a destination
- Flying carpet; llama

Worst way to travel to a destination
- Ryan Air; sewage pipe

Disappointing ways to start your day
- Waking up on Monday and thinking it's Saturday
- Empty milk jug in fridge after you poured your delicious cereal into its bowl
- Flat bike tire
- Horse poop

Wonderful ways to start your day
- Vodka & tonic with a slice of lime (just kidding... hold the tonic.)
- Sunshine
- Smiling faces
- Free hotel continental breakfast

Things that are awkward
- Eating pasta with tomato-based sauce while wearing a white shirt
- Trying to shimmy into clothes that are too small (thanks FRANCE -- "De rien, Jenny-fair")
- Trying to watch Avatar of the four-inch seat-back tv on an airplane
- Choking
- Promos for Sex and the City 2


Vanessa said...

YaY! A new blog. I knew you couldn't hold out on me for too long. Thank you. And thank you for your lists. They were very informative. And quite accurate I do believe.

Kathleen said...

Jen, you are better than me . . . I continue to disappoint Vanessa! I will rectify that now.