Sunday, May 10, 2009

Oh, Y Chromozone


Usually I try to sound relatively intelligent and mature on this, especially as I tend to forget other people may, you know, read this.

But I don't care right now.

Male population: I don't understand you. Not all of you, but a few of you that keep pushing back into my life. People say women are complicated, and we are, but at least you know that going into it. I'm convinced women collect thoughts in a logical manner, and then blow them out of propotion. They link them together to make conclusions. Men collect many single bits of information, but do not connect them together.

And I don't care if I sound like a jerk.

This blog has been interupted by an email from a problematic bloke.

Anyway, I'm looking for an arranged marriage. Apply in comments section. I'm easy to please. I enjoy cake, being outside, excessive spooning in pretzel-like positions, and holidays. Pissing me off can be solved by lookingly shamefully and sadly into my eyes and saying, "I'm sorry that/for ________." Bonus points for the ability to conjure up a single, dramatic tear. Also win me over with clipless bike pedals and appropriate sexy bike cleats. Investment I am unsure if I will take this summer. Bonus points if shoes are RED. (For reference, ths is the colour of the maple leaf in the Canada Flag.) Ideally you will be a male, but if you are an especially lovely woman I may consider you.

Seriously, wtf, mate.

I now present to you.... a new ability to deal with stress!

So I was thinking about currency. Again. And how world currency exchange rates used to be pegged to the US dollar. If a global currency were to take over (which will clearly not happen within the next 8,395,683.8 years), which currency would we take and what problems would be presented?

A model to base this off would be the development of the Euro. (I am special, my North American keyboard has a euro sign € !) I'm easily convinced that even 25 years ago people would not have predicted a successful amalgamation of x number of currencies (don't know actual number). The debates must had been extensive: whose currency to take? create a new one? conversion rates? where to be printed? what rate of exchange with foreign currencies? (Though I'm sure this wasn't just decided by those creating the currencies, clearly that would be a massive mess in itself.)

I lost my train of thought. In conclusion, a global currency would be very messy. The economies of the world are unequal. The governments uncooperative with different styles. Banks with different shareholders, customers, needs.

Anyway, were we to get a global currency, I would wish the different notes to reflect the culture of different continents. Rather impossible though, given the vast differences present in each continent.

Mostly I want a bill with a penguin on it. The Canadian currency is bedazzled with birds, but no penguins, due to the obvious reasons ("What do you mean this isn't Antarctica?")

My stomach is rumbly. Eating was not an activity I partook in today. The day instead was spent with zee familia, fuming, being baffled, eventually remember that drinking at least *one* glass of water would be good, booking a plane ticket, and flipping the ol' bird at the "problems" in my life.

My problems aren't big. I should specify that. But sometimes, at 1:00am, you suddenly feel like sticking your tongue out at silly things.

Really, I don't even have problems. I have food and shelter from the bitter cold, and strangers do not offer me cursed fruits of plants. Try being in a "fairytale", those kids generally have it much rougher than I. Particularly those with stepmums, who come across as pretty darn fierce.

I have to go to work soon. Where, oh where, did the evening go? Soon the sun will once again BURST through the ground and temporarily blind my eyes, while leaving my vitamin D deprived skin in heaving fits of happiness.

Rock on, Jen M[a]c, rock on.

(I'm not even going to bother proofreading this because it makes no sense, likely. But boys, I still love you and your gender. Can't we all just get along?)

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