Look at the wall! It has writing on it!

The writing says, "Get back to work, Jennifer."

Except, oh, tricky, the message is written in PIG LATIN so it takes me so long to decipher it, that the work day is over!

"Et-gay ack-bay o-tay ork-way, Ennifer-jay."

Looking at what I wrote in the past month it seems so, "Look at me, I'm so deep, deep like the sea."

I will use this not-spare time to write a poem.

I will challenge myself and pick a subject that does not rhyme with many things.

I will write a poem about... POEMS. I feel this will somehow open a door to another reality, much like what would happen if one lightening bolt sailing to Earth got intercepted by ANOTHER LIGHTENING BOLT. I suspect a loud bang would be heard and the Mighty Mighty Titans of Greek "mythology" fame will came thrashing out of the Earth's core.

After doing some quick reading, I'm afraid that Disney slightly mislead me in the lyrics to the opening song in the move "Hercules". While I am much aware that the movie has many Greek mythology inaccuracies (but not so enough I would not watch it), I am not convinced that the Titans were as bad as the lyrics imply. Well, they were bad, but probably no worse than the Olympi ans that followed them.

"Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes
called Titans ran amok

It was a nasty place
There was a mess
whereever you stepped
Where chaos reigned and
earthquakes and volcanoes never slept

And then along came Zeus
He hurled his thunderbolt
He zapped
Locked those suckers in a vault
They're trapped
And on his own stopped
chaos in its tracks"

However, it's not like Zeus didn't have jerk-like qualities. Zeus, technically, was a titan, for he was born to a titan mother and father. However, he was the only one of his brothers and sisters not to be eaten by the father. He was hidden far away by his mummy, and eventually fooled his papa, via potion with the aid of his grandmama, into vomitting up the other siblings. Then the older titan Gods fought the young Titan Gods. The latter were victorious.

So Zeus gives off a good first impression. HOWEVER! The jerk continuously cheated on his wife (and SISTER), Hera, with both other Goddesses, demi-Goddesses, and mortals. Alas, it slightly appeared to be the norm at the time.

Ah well.

Now I shall eat lunch instead of writing my poem. I'm really not much for poetry anyway, except haikus. They are short, don't have to make sense, and really just involve counting syllables.

I will eat lunch now
Perhaps a bagel with spread
I hope it tastes good.

And that my friends, it poetry.

Gosh she is SKILLED.

Write, much?

I'm writing a lot lately, usually that implies unrest in my life. It's true, I am getting restless in my current position. Things have been static for so long. I feel like the last *true* goal I had was 'get a job'. So I got a job. It actually took a lot of work and patience, but it eventually materialize with the setback at one point of working many hours at a job I despised. Next time I must be more specific in my desires.

I feel like I am in a snowglobe. The type of snowglobe that has random, unattached objects in it. I am the mini sailboat that got wedged behind the plastic palm tree and won't move anymore.

My new fear is not living up to my potential. I could be very useful in this world. I just have to figure out how I can be useful and avoid the fluff (though I do occasionally enjoy it).

Impress-ion me! happy?

Imagine what would happen if everyone was completely honest.

Would we be better people? Would hurt and anger be more short-lived?

What about first versus long-term impressions? There are really four permutations, in a complete black and white world.

1. Good first impression, good long-term impression
2. Good first impression, bad long-term impression
3. Bad first impression, good long-term impression
4. Bad first impression, bad long-term impression

Category one is always good, and I believe/sincerely hope most people do fall into this category. Two is tricky and deceiving, and more likely to be the cause of anger, betrayal, hurt, confusion, and frustration. Three is in an unfortunate, challenging position, he/she must work to change the initial impression. It's like wanting to learn how to ride a bicycle, but only owning a unicycle. Sometimes I fear I am number three because I occasionally come off as an idiot, rude, quiet, or shy when I meet people, primarily if it's somewhere noisy and I can't hear very well and have to play the deaf card.

The fourth is pretty much not desirable at all. I suppose it is more straight to the point than number two though, which may cause less misery in the long run.

And this is why first impressions should not be used to judge someone entirely. You never know what's happening behind the scenes in their head, lives, anything really. I suppose one silver lining could be that different people react differently and interpret differently. The first impression one person has on different people may be entirely different, even if they all met at the same time.

I was reading a "Happy" special the CBC did awhile back. Quote: "I didn't know that if you gave people nasal viruses that will produce colds in 50% of the people the people who had a lot of positive emotion don't get the colds. The people who don't have positive emotion do get the colds." (http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/howtobehappy/psychology.html)

"Close relationships are an essential factor in happiness, because they bring meaning to our lives. "The most clearly potent source of happiness is satisfying, meaningful connections with other people. You just cannot get away from the importance of social relationships. And it's not the number," says Todd Kashdan. "It's not the density. It's not having a cell phone filled with a hundred people that you can call. It's having people that you can confide in and people that you could effortlessly be yourself."" http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/howtobehappy/makes.html

I feel there is nothing ground breaking in this that I haven't read before other than the virus thing. I think being unhappy takes a lot of energy, because you are so focused on the unhappy (and it's exhausting), that your immune system doesn't have the proper energy to function as it should. One who is unhappy is probably not eating well, thus depriving the body of essential nutrients/minerals/vitamins required to allow the immune system to properly function.

The relationship quote clearly separates quality versus quantity. I'm lucky; I have many fantastic friends and am very close to my family. That being said, especially in the past four/five months, it has turned out that most of my fantastic friends are far away... which, frankly, sucks.

I also am a huge believer that place plays an incredible role in happiness, as per "Who's your city?" by Richard Florida. If someone said I could live anywhere in the world, I would be completely overwhelmed. Distance home is a factor, but let's say that distance was equal to all places, and 'home' was easily accessible. Visas and passports would not be an issue, nor would language (unless one wanted it to be an issue, such as go to China because of a desire to learn mandarin).

I have no idea where I would go. Clearly a place where one does not experience 14 months of winter per year. I can survive winter... but it's just so long. It's the end of January and there are still two months to go, and even then, summer in PEI is still ages away (early July) and will last for, oh, four weeks, take a three week break, then maybe last for another three weeks in a weaker form.

Global warming forgot about PEI, you see. That's why 'climate change' is the issue, ha. It has been consistently below seasonal here for AGES, with the odd above seasonal day. Very few days are actually "normal" (as per Environment Canada).

I have/want to leave now.

Green eyed monster

Lately I've been thinking about jealousy a lot as I've been hit with a hard batch a couple of times this week. It's a pretty simple yet relatively complex emotion. Simple in that it is almost like an equation: jealousy is what you feel upon becoming agitated when seeing someone having something(one!) you want.

As of late pangs of jealousy stem from hanging around an ex-boyfriend. It's a curious feeling, and I think the jealousy one feels when accepting an ex-boyfriend is free to develop relationships with another is an effect of a few questions that one faces, and may not ever really be able to answer. More bothersome for me is that I was the one who ended our relationship, so sometimes I feel I have to forfeit the rights to jealousy.

I think when one feels jealousy it's important to identify which factor is making you jealous. In regards to the ex-boyfriend, what is the issue? Is it the, "But I want to date you!", the "You are in a relationship with someone who isn't me!", or "You have found someone, potentially the person you will spend the rest of your life with."

Definitely the third one. Very occasionally the first one (because we are 95 percent compatible, but the remaining 5 percent highlights my 'deal breakers'), sometimes the second one, but were the event to materialise, it would be the third. My poor brain does not comprehend how two people finally know when they have found the person they will spend the 'rest' of their lives with (ideally both members of the couple will have determined this person to be the other person).

Another example of jealousy is when I hear about someone going to work at Disney World under the same program I went on. I get jealous in more of a sad than bitter way. That is a bit easier to pinpoint though, I never think, "Sure wish I could do the bread spiel again 20 times a day!" (Though it does lead to good money.) "Sure wish I could go to a party for 20 mins only to have security break it up." It's easily, "I wish I could be with my friends down there again, having fun, and wearing summer clothes, going to the parks, having fantastic days off and nights for clubbing." le sigh!

Anyway, I had great aspirations to write, and had mentally set out what I was prepared to share, but then about halfway through the phone rang and gabbered on it for 75 mins and somewhat lost my focus on this. But I think jealousy does give you the opportunity to focus: what is it I want? What about that situation do I desire? It is not always evident on the surface and may require some digging.

Sometimes I get jealous of peers with Federal Government jobs. Never because of the actual job position (at least not yet), but the mobility and pay scale that comes with it. Also, the absurd quantity of PAID vacation time! The option for two un-paid months off per year! Blah blah blah.

However, I am jealous of NO ONE'S winter vacation plans, for mine are amazing and YOU should be jealous of me, hee!! brag brag brag

I wonder what life will be like this time next year. If you told me January 25,2008, what I would be doing on January 25, 2009, I probably would have looked at you with a rather bizarre look on my face. "Well, why am I living on PEI? Why did I break up with my boyfriend but still hang out with him randomly? How did I finally lose my Scotland and Florida weight?! How come your car looks like it may fall apart at any second? Do I still not own a cute Shetland pony that I keep in my office? etc."

I need to go to bed. Stupid Monday mornings coming before I'm ready for them. Two more days of weekend, please?

24C

My office thermostat says it's 24C in my office. Curious, as I am cold, and am wearing two shirts, another large sweater draped over me as a blanket, pants, and wool socks.

Hunch says the thermostat may be wrong.

I am leaving for vacation in less than one month. Exciting! It's so wonderful to have something to look forward to. First up is one ENTIRE NIGHT in Los Angeles.

Meh.

Then TEN DAYS in marvelous HAWAI'I!!!! Followed by San Diego, Vancouver, and Victoria. Oh, and Charlottetown. Apparently that is where I will eventually end up.

Crap I'm sleepy.

Zzzz.

Friday afternoon lull...

Oh, Friday afternoon at work.

The sky is actually rather blue, which helps prevent me from being blue.

Things I have been thinking about lately:

• Baby Elephants - I was thinking about a documentary I saw ages ago on the Discovery Channel about a baby wooly mammoth. Some researchers at a uni where analyzing bones or something of a long-dead (obviously) baby wooly mammoth to learn about them and how the creature died. It was all interesting, but the part that got me was the scene where they show a cgi baby wooly mammoth wandering around on campus. I was thinking it would be nice to have the modern day equivalent - a baby elephant - wandering around on my campus.

• Hawai'i - I'm going there! From what I have been learning about Hawai'i, and from what I know about myself, clearly I am going to love it. I'll be there from February 13 - 23... possibly longer if it turns out I am the reincarnate of a Hawaiian goddess. I have been feeling quite majestic lately and believe this is quite possible. Perhaps I was the goddess of fire, but had my goddess abilities and powers SABOTAGED by an evil doer, and then died in a fire. This, of course, explains my inexplicable and intense fear of flames. A big moment for me in 2008 was when I lit the candles on Sheena's birthday cake. While the day was big for her (anniversary of her birth), it may have, in fact, been even bigger for me. Conclusion: Hawai'i [with one Erin Brown of co-castmember fame] will rock.

• PEI School Closures - A report recommends closing eleven schools in the Eastern School District of PEI. I have not seen the report, but the recommendations were based on current and expected future trends. I have no issues with the school closures. Clearly they do not directly effect me (I have long since graduated from the public school program), and I do recognize the importance the school has on a local community and I do not want children to have long commutes to school, but I cannot help but feel that children who attend a very small school run into disadvantages not experienced by children attending larger schools. I am thinking specifically about the "extras" - a gymnasium, music class, band opportunities, photography, art, computer labs, etc. I have also read about the anger expressed by the mayor of Georgetown over its school closing in favour of keeping one open in Cardigan. It makes sense, really. Although Georgetown may be larger in population, it would be more difficult to transport children there. Georgetown is on the extreme east of PEI, so is not central. Cardigan is not far from Georgetown, but would be able to accept children from more areas surrounding the school.
  Apparently no teachers will lose their jobs, which is good, but I don't really understand. I recognize that new teachers will need to be sent to certain school that remain open in order to compensate for the higher enrollment, but all of them will remain employed?? How? Also, I feel for the schools' support staff, hopefully things work out for them as well.
  
  Winners: kids (hopefully more opportunity), unemployed bus drivers (more bus transportation will be required)
  Losers: kids (hopefully not, but no one wants to have an hour-long commute to school every morning), communities of closing schools (I suspect families will be more reluctant to move to those communities due to a potential long ride to school?)

• Snow - one cannot help but think of snow, for it is EVERYWHERE. Okay, slight lie, upon looking out my window I see a patch of grass next to the Robinson Library right up against the wall. There are a few grassy patches scattered around. Often these grassy patches are next to a three-foot snow drift... So it's not like there is no snow, it just moved. So much snow... Though I haven't shovelled since Sunday and my shovelling muscles are happy to have a break. It is hard on the back, but the next morning I always found myself thinking, "Why does my left forearm hurt? Oooh, right."
  

• OC Transpo Bus Strike/Unions - It's still going on!! Seriously. For those confused, OC Transpo is the public bus system in Ottawa. The drivers have been on strike for about a month over, from what I gather, scheduling issues and wages. The city wants to control the schedule so it can save a few million per year, as apparently now the company controls the schedule and senior bus drivers can pick their shifts. Apparently this can lead abuse of the system where drivers will collect overtime pay for hours not actually spent driving. I respect the right of workers to strike... But I just have trouble finding that much sympathy for the drivers. From what I read, they are apparently quite well paid (as they should be) and this scheduling issue doesn't actually effect that many of them. Yet, the strikes roars on. I feel the city and the union are probably even grumpier now then they were before and are probably not coming to an agreement out of spite and the dangerous action of "trying to prove a point". (Such a female thing to do. "I'M PROVING A POINT!!! DON'T YOU GET IT??" "No." "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!")
  
  Another issue with this that was easily solved when the Toronto public transit people striked is that public transit is not considered an essential service in Ottawa. In Toronto the workers were on strike for one day until the Province giggled, and sent them all back to work the following morning. In Ottawa, the OC Transpo is actually an inter-provincial transit system: the buses go into Gatineau, Quebec. Apparently this means that the Federal Gov't (I think -- I saw this posted on the comments section on CBC News online but haven't actually verified the facts) would have to deem it an essential service. Okay... oh right, the Feds, who sit in Ottawa, aren't working right now because Parliament is on an extended winter holiday. Also, only THREE bus lines go into Gatineau. The 8, 27, and 40. The 27 and 40 (provided it's the same as when I lived there 642 years ago) only run during peak hours on weekdays. They also had only, I think one or two stops that were literally spitting distance from Ontario. Bus crosses bridge into QC, bus stops, bus goes back to ON. The 8 spins around a bit more, but never more than, say, seven blocks or so from Ottawa.
  
  Winners: No one.
  Losers: Everyone. Once the strike ends, I think the public will, sadly, be bitter towards bus drivers, and people will hate unions. I'm not really a fan of unions. I see the point they served when people were truly working in unfair working conditions (asbestos in mines), but it seem they are now more so protection so lazy people or poor workers cannot be fired.

• Children - I think some people have children because they are bored. I was sitting on top of a snowbank last weekend (Jen = awesome) and wanted to, umm, play in the snow with someone. I kind of wished I had a toddler/pre-school ages kid so I had someone to frolick in the snow with. Of course, then the afternoon would end, I would have to feed the kid, blah blah blah. Someone else said something very similar to me as well, "I had no one to hang out with so thought it would be nice to have a kid to hang out with."
  
  But I do not have children, so instead I am going to Hawai'i. I have four years to have wee babies (when I was younger -- 21 -- I decided I wanted to have kids by the time I was 30 -- progress has been quite slow on this) so in the meantime I will develop, nuture, and spend money on myself. I will raise myself to be AWESOME.

Done. I suppose I should do some more work now. This whole full work-week thing baffles me after having almost TWO WEEKS (!) off over Christmas. That was super fun! I haven't been on a PEI vacation for that long since... umm, well, unemployment after returning to PEI post US and European adventures, I suppose, but that doesn't count because I spent most of the time being miserable and panicking.

I miss adventure.