Monday, February 21, 2011

Theoretical Snow Day vs. Actual Snow Day

Last Monday the University shut down at 5:00pm due to snow blowing through the air and whipping people in the face and winter being, you know, winter-y. I was a little disappointed as after mingling with (eating) a few cookies at our Valentine's Day potluck I was planning on going to the gym and abusing myself to the point of movement causing throngs of pain the following day. Instead, I walked home and did sad things like clean the kitchen, vacuum, and wash to-be-painted walls. Luckily I had plans for later so the threat of becoming the Old Maid featured in my least favourite card game ever (called, "Old Maid") did not loom too largely.

Tuesday morning arrived (usually a safe bet following Monday night) and despite still being mildly blustery, the radio and the vast metropolis of the Internet insisted that the uni was running as usual. I walked to work because it gives me a superiority complex (and I missed the bus by about four seconds as I stood in awe on the other side of the road dragging out the waste bin) and was pretty sure Zeus had filled each individual snowflake with a small blade that were causing my face and eyeballs to bleed. "Flurries" at the university was a slight understatement. The winds were howling and the small children at UPEI's daycare had to be chained down to prevent blowing to Newfoundland. The snow was piercing faces and students were falling trying to pass the sidewalks and snowy walkways. Most of us survived and exploded through the doors like weakened champions. I unlock my office door and am immediately told, "UPEI has just announced it is closed for the day!"

Usually snowdays are met with cheers and champagne popping, but given the effort I put into getting to work I wasn't feeling the need for a bubbly drink. Just a face-to-face apology from whoever made the decision about two hours too late and ancient weather Gods and Goddesses.

The Sunday prior I had thought about how useful a snowday would be. I would paint my room, protest the slaughter of left-handed chimpanzees, solve the mystery of ancient crop circles, translate the third Harry Potter book into an ancient form of gaelic known only by a top-secret organisation, and perhaps watch a little bit of tv if I had time. My snow day took the following itinerary:
  1. Sit on bed. Play video game on phone.

  2. Find phone to be extremely heavy; curiously, much like my eyelids. Fall asleep for 1.5 hours.

  3. Wake up. Read. Eat lunch.

  4. Watch tv. Laugh.

  5. Twiddle my thumbs. Go to car (PS: I bought a car!) to retrieve Nibs that I had hidden from myself.

  6. Eat Nibs. Read. Give myself 19 cavities.

At this point I had fallen behind on my planned activities. I had no paint to paint walls, did not have the proper ingredients to cook my desired food of the day, and could not find my ancient-gaelic->English dictionary. I was eventually productive in that I fixed a formatting issue for someone in Word, ate supper, and watched a wee bit more tv.

In a related note, if winter doesn't end soon I'm driving to Cuba. It was pointed out to me that one cannot drive from PEI to Cuba for Cuba is an island without a bridge link. However, I have not yet fully explored the variety of buttons in my car and I suspect one of the buttons converts my car into a small-but-zippy watercraft. Hopefully this doesn't affect trunk space.

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