Saturday, April 03, 2010

Birds: Pros and Caw-ns

This afternoon I was sitting in a car waiting for someone and watching a crow hop around on a roof across the street. Having a very scientific mind with both a well developed left and right side, I managed to come up with the following list of the pros and cons of being a bird. The bird being observed was a crow (traditional name: it which caws loudly too early in the morning and poops all over everything).
  • The ability to fly.
  • No bad hair days.
  • Tormenting cats.
  • Destroying garbage bags for pure fun.
  • "Hunting" for food has been simplified to hanging out in the BK parking lot picking at tossed fries and leftover ketchup packets.
  • Living in a tree.
  • Being a hot topic in The Guardian AND CBC PEI Online.
  • Pooping without even having to stop flying, go to the ground, digging a hole, etc. Go when ya gotta.

  • Not having hands.
  • Eyes being on the side of the head so you can't see right in front of you.
  • Being hated.
  • As a result of not having hands and not being able to see right in front of oneself, all potential food must be touched with mouth. Possibly gross and setting oneself up for disappointment when "food" turns out to be a gum wrapper.
  • Being at the very bottom of a "bird watchers' checklist". No one is impressed to know someone who once saw a crow.
  • Confusion with a black bird or raven.
  • Victims of intimidation tactics of "scarecrows".

After mentally establishing this list in my tired "I just biked 40 km, which isn't a lot, but I ran over something and got a flat in Tea Hill and it was annoying because I wanted to bike further" head, I did a crossworld puzzle and was joined by my friend for patio bevvies. I dared not share this list with her, in fear she would plagiarize and steal this blog post for her own, non-existent blog.

La fin.

(PS ~ I do think of more intelligent things throughout the day, really. Like scientific notation and pi. Merci.)

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