The Disappointing Pillow Story

You know what makes me feel like an adult? Buying things that aren't toys, books, clothing, food, or drink. Buying towels makes me feel mature, particularly if they are somewhat soft. Purchasing pillows makes me feel responsible, like an important member of society.

About a month ago I started hating my pillow. It was getting squishy and uncomfortable. Jealous, I asked le Boyfriend where he had acquired his glorious pillow of heavenly firm cloud poofiness. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure where it had come from as it was given to him by, SIGH, an ex-girlfriend, but he suspected Costco. (Note: he may had just told me Costco so I would stop asking questions about his pillow.) This troubled me. Not because it came from a former girlfriend, but because we don't have a Costco in PEI and I don't have a membership should I come across a Costco in my travels.

What is a lady to do?

So le Boyfriend and I decided to go pillow shopping. We went to Bed Bath & Beyond as pillows are generally associated with beds. We thought, "Let's splurge!" Instead of buying a $25 pillow that will last for a year, let's buy an awesome pillow that will survive the duration of our love (i.e., ETERNAL/FOREVER/OMG). Such a pillow would be an investment, but one that would bring us happy sleeps for years to come.

We wandered about the store, squishing pillows and trying to test them while standing up. We decided on the Brookstone BioSense Memory Foam Shoulder Pillow with Better Than Down® Cover (copy and paste party!). It even came in a box with a carrying handle - that's fancy, guys.

BONUS: Le Kitty likes to play in the box.

Unfortunately, breaking news: we bought the worst, most overpriced pillow ever. At first it seemed a bit thick, but one thinks, "The memory foam will 'break in' and remember the desires of my head and neck."

It doesn't.

If two people are snuggling or sleeping closely on the one large pillow, the weight of both heads makes it somewhat bearable. If one had extremely wide shoulders, this pillow would likely be fine. For me, it is so thick that my chin basically touches my shoulder. I tried to put le 10-lb kitty on it to flatten it out, but it was too thick in the middle and he fell off. He was not impressed and pranced away.

On the plus side, the pillow is wonderful to sit on when sitting on the floor. I'm also doing an experiment now as the pillow is essentially two parts: a foam pillow on the inside and a removable down pillow case/cover. I pulled out the foam pillow and stuffed my old floppy pillow in the cover. An improvement, but I still wish I could return the pillow.

Moral of the story: when pillow shopping, take the pillow to the bed section of the store and have a wee lie-down with the pillow. If you feel your heart erupting with butterflies, you have made the right decision. If you find yourself confused and becoming increasingly annoyed with the store's lighting, select a new pillow. Then repeat until the first reaction takes place. If you get stern looks from floor staff, know it's only because they are jealous of your wisdom and have made the mistake of purchasing a terrible pillow in the past.